I have so many bills I could throw them in a pool and go swimming. My work hours are higher than my paycheck. Can Dammit Dolls give me the stress-free billionaire life I deserve?
If only, DAMMIT! We’d love to promise you the world and more but we aren’t liars, or your ex. We’ll stick to the simple promise that when it comes to a little stress relief we’re your best bet. Whack away all that bottled up frustration while shouting your favorite obscenities. Feel better!
Out damn spot! Out! How do I wash my doll/pillow/head, DAMMIT?
We get it. The slamming and whacking took a dirty turn. We’re going to have to ask you to refrain from the usual spin cycle. These gifts are spot clean only, DAMMIT! Time to get friendly with your Tide pen.
My stitches have come undone figuratively and literally! Can I have a refund, a new Dammit Doll or free therapy?
We understand that sometimes, in the name of stress relief, slamming and whacking can lead to wearing and tearing. First off, we must compliment you on your strength and anxiety levels. You go, you little frazzled superstar! That being said, we are firm believers in the “ya break it ya bought it” philosophy. As much as we’d love to replace your doll as well as “make it rain” Dammit Dolls all day everyday, we can’t. We’re a business with silly business problems like paying grown-up bills and compensating a bunch of stressed out employees. If you can’t handle the truth, then we suggest you take it up with the tax collectors, DAMMIT! Or you could contact us at email@example.com. Dealer’s choice!
I’m reaching stress level supreme waiting for my things! Where on this blasted green and blue rotating ball is my package, DAMMIT?!
Please don’t hurt us! We’re all at the mercy of USPS. Their dicey standard 5 to 7 business day shipping schedule plays fast and loose with our sanity too. The shipping table on our Shipping page has expected delivery dates. Also, check the tracking in the shipping email we sent to you. If that doesn’t work then take a deep breath and think nice thoughts. Are you in your happy place? Good, now contact firstname.lastname@example.org . We’re pretty into hearing complaints, handholding and finding packages so try to control your love for us.
I get you. I get stress relief. Super into slamming and whacking. Let’s do this. I want to sell Dammit Dolls!
Stop it, you’re making us blush. On our first date we’re going to ask you to email email@example.com with your initial questions and contact information. You know, so we can get to know each other. We’d never make a courter wait 3 days (with the exception of weekends or holidays) so we’ll get back to you in a jiff. Looking forward to hearing from you, you stud-muffin!